swordage: Excited Starscream saying *UCK YEAH (tf FUCK YEAH)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, [livejournal.com profile] spacehussy MY TWIN ♥

As for my own birthday, I have many wonderful friends who gifted me with wonderful things.

Katarik wrote me not one, not two, but THREE beautiful ficlets that hit my buttons in a very good way~ ♥ On one page we have delicious foodkink set during Fire In The Sky, and on another page we have Cyclonus' lovely devotion to Galvatron, as well as FOOT WORSHIP HELL YES. Which is, of course, done in exactly the way I love best. Oh and also it's the twins THAT SURE DOESN'T AFFECT MY ENJOYMENT NOSIREE. (hint: it makes it even better)

I already linked these but they're worth linking again - Spacehussy drew me a lovely Prowl/twins-as-sexy-furniture picture, and Primusatemyleg made me the most romantic Optimus/tentacles picture I shall ever see in my entire life.

I feel it is worth noting that my friends are the best friends. I got foodkink, loyaltykink, foot worship, tentacles, D/s (YES IT'S IN THERE, TRUST ME), and Lambos as furniture - and ALL OF IT is loving and consensual and gorgeous and without any shaming whatsoever. You people are the BEST. I love you all so much.

And Eels gave me a cute little otter for my profile, and so many people wished me happy birthday that my head might explode! YOU ARE ALL WONDERFUL AND I LOVE YOU.

Spacehussy also sent me actual physical presents which are AMAZING. Observe:

SO MANY PICTURES. I made a little story. )
 
swordage: caw caw motherfuckers (asst homestuck)
FIRST: Thank you all for the birthday wishes! I usually despise my birthday and want it to stop existing, but this one has been amazing and it's because of all of you. You are wonderful people and I love you.

SECOND: MAH LOOT. You need to check these out, people. Spacehussy, my beloved twin, made me a drawing of Prowl using the twins as furniture. *fans self* If you are me, this is SO HOT. If you're not me you're probably wondering what the fuss is about but SHUT UP AND GO OGLE IT. Seriously, Prowl and the twins, WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS WHEN YOU COULD BE OUT BUYING BLURR OVER THERE OGLING THEM. Part deux was an unexpected surprise from Primusatemyleg, who gifted me consensual tentacles and Prime! Seriously what more description do you need. There is gentle neck-stroking. Delicate interspecies lovemaking is impending. It is GORGEOUS. Prime sure knows how to treat a tentacle monster. ♥

In actual physical loot, I will be opening Hussy's other presents (SHE SPOILS ME ROTTEN) in a little bit! But before that, I know you've all been waiting for...

THE PARTY IS HERE!

EDIT: And I'm done for the night - thank you all for chilling and being awesome. ♥ It has been a wonderful birthday.
swordage: "I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's Megatron with a pancake on his head." (tf wtf)
MY FRIENDS. Tomorrow is my birthday! I will be a quarter of a century old! LET'S HAVE A PARTY. I guess another vid party, because those are awesome. I unfortunately have errands to run (if I can, so much lovely fluffy snow~) but I should get it going sometime in the afternoon. We'll just be chillin' and babbling about stuffs.

I can't believe I have to say this, but I will not tolerate any kind of -ism. In the chat, in conversation with me, whatever. This includes kink-bashing.

OKAY SO tell me what you want to watch! Seriously, please, ask for an episode or two of something. Or link me to a music video. The sillier the better.
swordage: Skyfire flying. (tf fire in the sky)
I HAVE A PHYSICS QUESTION. Okay, maybe more of a math question. Anyway. Skyfire can fly halfway around the globe in half an hour. How fast is he going?

I guess we can assume he's flying in the troposphere, at the equator, and probably against the rotation of the Earth. Ignore physical constraints, like whether he'd burn up at the ludicrous speed he's going. Let's get all science-y up in this thing, yo.

EDIT: okay, the cartoon just says "halfway around the globe in half an hour" but Marvel got all detailed:

In jet-fighter mode, Jetfire's unique swing-wing design allows him to take off like a normal jet and then, pulling his wings back, reach speeds of up to Mach 4.2. Adding twin supersonic combustion ramjet (i.e. scramjet) engine modules along with twin liquid hydrogen fuel tanks allows Jetfire to achieve orbital velocities, or to even escape Earth's gravity altogether. With this capability, he can launch like a missile, shoot up above the atmosphere, and, at a speed of Mach 29, dive down like a blazing meteor (hence his name) half a world away only 30 minutes later.

So what they seem to be describing is a parabolic arc, specifying max velocities, distance traveled, and time to travel. FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU- I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE QUESTION IS ANYMORE
swordage: Pretty pretty Starscream in front of a snowfield. (tf snowfield so pretty)
Wishing you all a happy winter, whether you celebrated Hanukkah, Solstice, Kwanzaa, Yule, Christmas, or a new year. May your days be merry and bright. ♥ I come bearing a gift! Those of you who follow my personal blog [personal profile] lex know Nostalgia, my darling cat - but whether you do or not, I give you a wallpaper of her beautiful bunny butt. Oh, and I suppose you can have a Sunstreaker wallpaper too.





They're in 1280x800 by default, but let me know if you need another size. Max size for Nostalgia is 2048x1536, which I think actually displays her larger than life. Max on Sunstreaker is an absurd 3000x2000.

Happy Christmas, all. :3
swordage: Blurr drinking alone. (tf blurr at a bar)
So I've been writing chatfic now and then, which is kinda awesome. So, have some Skyfire/Starscream I guess? I am told it is a "wee tiny gem of beautiful" endquote.

***

Once upon a time... )

***

oh wait there's a second story )
swordage: rotf Soundwave (Default)
So if you don't know about this yet, there are more links than I can link to - check out [personal profile] seperis for some roundups, or just google "Cooks Source". Basically, get yer trolling in now because this person pissed off the entire Internet and every major corporation all in one blow. The hordes of Livejournal, Fark, Reddit, and 4chan are descending, to be followed by the monolithic horror of the Food Network, NPR, Martha Stewart, and Disney. So of course the only logical thing to do is use the Cooks Source FB profile pic to make ironic icons using quotes from their FB page for the Ultimate Irony Meltdown Attack! Feel free to gank. I won't bother asking that your credit me because after all, this is the Internet and everything is public domain right :D :D :D

1 2 3 4


What made me laugh was when Dad was like "Oh hey 4chan is going to destroy someone and it made the news" and I was like "The Cooks Source thing? Dad, my people got there first, and 4chan is just picking up the dregs" and he was like "sadface." This is our dinner conversation, heck yes.
swordage: Spock's shirt reads "I'm with illogical" and is pointing at Kirk, who is shirtless. (asst I'm with illogical)
So I was poking through my personal journal looking for something and I found this ficlet. I have no idea why I never posted it here. I was probably thinking BUT IT'S SO UNPOLISHED HOMG but I have relaxed a bit since then, I hope. XD Anyway, the chatlog leading up to it pretty much says it all:

Lex: You know, just for fun, I want companion!Prowl.
Spacehussy: ooooooooh
Lex: It is, after all, entirely logical that the crew would need stress relief, and interfacing has the benefit of producing closer bonds as well as using up wild energy.
Spacehussy: mmmmmmmmmmmm yes that is in fact quite logical >:3
Lex: And he's just nuts enough that he'd observe to see who needs it and then approach them himself
Spacehussy: mmmmmm okay I like that a lot.
Lex: yessss. It might even take them a while to figure it out - they'd have to suffer through a couple random, head-spinning interfaces first. :3
Spacehussy: POOR DEARS
Lex: hee hee hee


OH NOES ROBOT SLASH )
swordage: rotf Soundwave (tf lovely)
Title: Rocks Fall, Et Cetera
Series: Transformers G1
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2k
Notes: My greatest thanks to [personal profile] sharpest_asp for looking this over. Any remaining problems are entirely my own fault.
Warnings: Character death.
Summary: This is a story about quiet lonely grief. It is a story about Not The End Of The World But Still Really Fucking Horrible. It is a story about living. It's a story about Sideswipe.

Read more... )
swordage: Text reading "We're a bunch of giant robots that turn into vehicles, I'm sorry if our culture is different than yours." (tf sorry about our culture ol chap)
Oh my god, what's this? Some more things from that 100 prompts set? Why, it is! Actual productivity! How did this even happen, I have no idea. Some of them are pretty substantial though.

12. Beautiful (Sunstreaker): G, G1

Read more... )

14. Children (Wheeljack and Dinobots): G, G1

Read more... )

26. Formal (Optimus and Megatron): G, Movieverse pre-war

Read more... )

34. Sunlight (Scorponok): PG, Movieverse

Read more... )

88. Finally (Dinobot and Rattrap): PG, Beast Wars season 1

Read more... )
swordage: TFA Blurr and Shattered Glass Optimus, with noncon touching. (tf Blurr and evil Prime)
My writing ability has been entirely shot for a few weeks now, and I'm starting to feel antsy - so when I found Primusatemyleg's pairing generator and started giggling at it, I gave myself the exercise of writing a sentence (and only a sentence) for whatever ones caught my eye.

May contain triggery prompts, though I didn't write anything dark. )
swordage: Bay movie: Sam touching Bumblebee's face. (tf d'awww bee-hugging)
Title: Look Out on a Summer's Day
Series: Transformers movies
Rating: G
Wordcount: 485
Summary: Just a simple quiet evening as summer peters out, comfortable and easy. Sam, Mikaela, and Bumblebee.

The overlook was quiet as the last warm light tipped trees and clouds alike with gold. )
swordage: rotf Soundwave (Default)
Let's see what I have in Googledocs today... Ah yes! The appendices to The Beauty Inherent, my shitty multiverse crossover technopunk thing! I have no excuses. It was fun to write. Also I totally ship Sephiroth/Envy now and I have no idea how this happened.

WIP: The Beauty Inherent Appendices, multiverse, some Sora/Riku and Tseng/Rufus and possibly Sephiroth/Envy~ Also it could pass for an anti-drug PSA. Also you can tell I wrote it a long time ago. ಠ_ಠ LET'S SEE HOW ELSE I CAN CONVINCE PEOPLE TO NOT READ THIS

This gets kinda weird and kinda long. )
swordage: rotf Soundwave (Default)
I found a subfolder in Googledocs with some more WIPs that I abandoned! AWESOME. Also, this is the only Star Trek story you will ever see from me.

WIP: Star Trek XI, Kirk and Spock.

I want to say something clever in the cut text. )
swordage: Naruto and Sasuke being friendly. (x monsters)
I have no idea how many years ago I started this. A lot. About five, I think? I've poked at it off and on for most of that time. It's... Well. You can tell. The first half actually got posted as its own story, but since I just kinda kept writing, I'll repost the whole thing here. It'll always have a special fond place in my heart - and in hindsight, it was pretty clearly my thing for nonhumans popping up. Huh. Also this is so, so AU. Let's see, can I add any more caveats that will make people want to avoid it like the plague...? XD I do like it though. I want other people to like it, deep down under its outer layers of shitty writing and worse plotting. I want to sit by the waterfall and croak with the bullfrogs, you know? Yeah. Anyway. SO NOSTALGIC~

WIP: Naruto, Gaara/Sasuke/Naruto (nonsexual)
Working title: Monsters

This is over 6000 words. Whoa. )
swordage: Dean Winchester biting his lip thoughtfully (x lipbite)
WHOOPS I forgot to post yesterday! I will post again later today. And then I believe that's the end~ I'm down to 10 active stories after this, which is still a LOT but also a huge relief. I think a couple of them are almost done, too...

WIP: NCIS/Supernatural Dean/Gibbs. You read that right.

This is ROUGH. It is the very, very beginnings of an idea. You can tell because I changed tenses between scenes, and also there are some INSERT NAME/RANK HERE bits because I hadn't finished plotting out the case they're working on. Also it's missing 99% of the story: I have the two opening scenes and then, wtf, the end of a sex scene right at the end of the story.

That's right. Dean/Gibbs. I was serious.

I am honestly kinda feeling weird about posting something with a sex scene involving humans. )
swordage: 2007 Sideswipe. (tf sideswipe is handsome)
WIP: Transformers/Iron Man, Sideswipe/Jarvis (nonsexual GASP HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE)

This one came from some excited babbling with [personal profile] blue_soaring and - I love the idea, I do! That's why I started writing it! But the story fell apart and it was taking too long and I don't have the patience to figure out what it wants to be, especially since I've kinda moved away from my fascination with Iron Man. Sigh. I still want to see Jarvis getting it on with a Cybertronian, though - and I really did want to touch on the idea that, being an artificially-built rather than inherit/sparked intelligence (and thus possibly not alive or an independent being to the Cybertronians, which is an extra level of irony because of the human debate over whether the Cybertronians are alive and sentient), Jarvis' ability to consent to a relationship is called into question. Anyway. Let me show you what I had written.

Oh, also? This is the story that put "I hear you've been around the parking lot a few times" into my vocabulary. It never ceases to make me laugh hysterically.

So basically Tony needs a ride (he has two tickets to that thing you love), Sideswipe seduces Jarvis with his stunning intellect, Tony fails to realize that they've adopted Dummy as their illegitimate love child, and Optimus Prime is not entirely sure he approves of this but believes in Love Conquers All or something, though I never wrote that last scene. Also I am not sure about how I wrote Pepper but wanted to include her because 1. she's awesome and 2. I am trying to stop erasing women from my fic. LONGEST CUT TEXT EVER )
swordage: rotf Soundwave (Default)
WIP: Transformers, Blackout/Barricade tactile robosex.

I was writing this for someone else too (haha, guess who! XD) but that never seems to work out well for me. I do like what I have written here, I just ran out of steam to get any farther. :\ Curses. You never know, I might come back to this one. It is awfully cute... (And it turns out the one yesterday will get finished, I wasn't doing it wrong! Yay!)

bluh bluh bluh )
swordage: "I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's Megatron with a pancake on his head." (tf wtf)
I have declared WIP amnesty week for myself. My plan is to post a story a day - or at least, what I have of the story - until Friday. Yes, I have that many WIPs I'll never finish. I'm happy to talk about the stories in comments if you'd like! I've just moved on to bigger, better things.

WIP: Transformers, Skywarp/Optimus, explicit robot sex (sticky)

This was meant to be a gift to Pell, but it turns out I was doing it wrong. Dang. I was struggling with it anyway, but now... I can't bring myself to touch it, even to fix it. Ah well.

Stuff! )
swordage: Skyfire flying. (tf fire in the sky)
Title: I've come to be untroubled in my seeking
Series: Transformers G1-ish
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 2276
Notes: I have so many other things I should be writing. Instead, this got finished! I've been reading too many "Starscream is just damaged and fixing him makes everything better" fics, clearly. Guess what happens in this story.
Sample: "Did you think to hold it over me? Megatron will feel no gratitude to you, either. Or perhaps you foolishly hoped to impart a voice of reason to the Decepticon ranks?" Starscream laughed. "If Soundwave and Shockwave could not do such a thing, then it cannot be done."

"It was a matter of morality, not power. I would be a fool to think you indebted for it." )

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