FMA Drabble

[swordage]

I read a line in someone else's fic recently. The story was about something else, but the line was how beautiful and gentle Alphonse had been, playing with Nina in the snow.

Alphonse is beautiful, gently shifting Nina atop his shoulders so he can roll Alexander off his leg. There is no steam condensing on his fearsome face; the snow that lands on his shoulders stays crisp until Nina uses it for a tiny snowball. They roll more, make a knee-high snowman. Al sculpts a braid with his thick fingers, carefully stroking excess snow from each plait, never once thinking of alchemy. Ed pauses at the window, steaming mugs of chocolate nearly burning his fingers. One for him, one for Nina. Al lifts Nina from a snowbank so her angel-shape is unmarred by her exit. Ed goes back to the kitchen. He comes back with three mugs and calls them in, groaning when Alexander covers him in snow. Nina has a mug in her hands before she's ever taken off her mittens; Al makes sure she gets out of her winter things, makes sure they're set by the fire to dry. Ed pushes the third mug at him as soon as he can; Al doesn't take it for a moment.

"At least warm your hands," Ed murmurs guiltily. Maybe he shouldn't have made it; maybe Al has felt strange enough for one day.

"...Thank you, brother," Al sighs, standing close to the fire so the snow will melt, dripping slow inside his chest. They're quiet for a minute, holding their chocolate as it cools.

"We named the snowman Edward," Alphonse offers, and that makes it alright.

Comments

[lykomancer.livejournal.com]

Awwwww~! *wibbles* So sweet and cute!

[swordage]

Thank you! ♥

[loreamara.livejournal.com]

This is so soft but sad, a really nice treatment of Al's ironic condition--that meaning, of course, his quiet, gentle nature encapsulated in such a fierce physique. I really like that this has so much thoughtful description in it, that maybe each line is symbolic for something and maybe it isn't. It feels very . . . well, thoughtful.

[swordage]

Thank you. I love how quiet this piece is - I think that translated well, the quiet, gentle beauty. I was afraid I didn't get that feel captured well enough, but from your response I think it worked. Thank you!

[loreamara.livejournal.com]

I think the quietude came across very well. In the beginning it's rather striking that there's no dialogue, given that they're playing and she's 4, but because the dialogue here is a given, it's almost like watching a silent movie, where you know the characters aren't actually mute, just that you can't hear it. And that works very well, especially as the focus transfers to Ed behind the window, because he may well not be able to hear them anyway. And I think that almost amplifies the content in other ways.

[swordage]

Yes, exactly. *glee* More dialogue would have just been extraneous, so I was worried about the little I did put in, and whee! I have had way too much sugar.