swordage | (no subject)

My friends, I have a secret to tell you. It is a terrible burden to bear, so I must share it with you. It has to do with this picture:

My friends, I am sorry, but sticky is canon.

BEHOLD!

My friends, it's true, the only person on this planet who loves robodick more than I do is Michael Bay himself. I can think of no other reason for these fine specimens you see before you. Someone had to sign off on these character designs, my friends. Someone had to approve these shots for every piece of merchandise ever. You cannot unsee this, my friends, and I am sorry for inflicting it upon you. But I just spent an hour image-searching Optimus Prime's robojunk, then lovingly outlining it in pink highlighter. And then animating it.

Look at those beasts. Optimus' is, okay, only suggestive. But Megatron. IT HAS A TEXTURE. SOMEONE DELIBERATELY CREATED AND PAINTED MEGATRON'S ROBODICK. THEY LOVINGLY HANDCRAFTED HIS FORESKIN.

AND I JUST HIGHLIGHTED IT IN PINK.

And if you thought that hey, maybe it's just the designers, maybe no one noticed, maybe in the comics it isn't as obviou-

OH COME ON

The reason I mention this? Well, thankfully, Optimus' DotM design changed his robodick a little. And of course the pictures I have of him are so honking hi-res that his robodick fills my screen, so I notice these things.

Aren't you all looking forward to Michael Bay's movie now? :D ROBODIIIIIIICK. ROBODICK EVERYWHERE.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

darthneko

I.... I kind of love you for this. x___x

swordage

Megatron's is so OBVIOUS that it's downright embarrassing. x___x Prime's is... at an odd angle. And for a moment there my eyes were mixing up concave with convex and seeing an indentation instead of a lump and... yeah. Given what Megatron's packing, my brain totally went there.

If you look at the last image of the post you'll see that actually Prime's convex bits are the round parts to each side of his robodick. HURR HURR. The new design makes it look like a robovagina rather than a robopenis, which is kinda cool but not really an improvement.

~~I am totally an adult I swear~~

CONCAVE

I MEANT CONCAVE

THE BITS THAT GO IN, DAMNIT

white_aster

:facepalm: Yeah, so obviously Prime's little pistonthing there....moves? In and out of his little extremely obvious...hollow he's got there? It's...yeah, not an improvement in the new design!

Honestly, now I'm thinking too hard about how this might work....

It... doesn't move as far as I know. They just altered the design a bit - that part is very much non-mobile oh god my imagination is doing horrible things ahhhhhhhh what have you done

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

nonono, I mean that obviously it moves, because it used to poke up from the design, and in the new pic, it's retreated into its junkhollow! It's just a different shot of the same robojunk! One...erect, and one not! He's just not as excited by this new movie as he was by the others....

I HAVE GIVEN YOU FREEDOM. AREN'T I WONDERFUL? :DDDD