FMA fic

Mar. 5th, 2005 10:06 am
swordage: Kitty cat! (x cat)
[personal profile] swordage
I seem to be well again, but the sudden creative burst the Nyquil apparently gave me has yet to wear off. Thank god I'm more coherent now. XD

Title: Feline
Series: FMA
Rating: G
Summary: Are pets allowed in the office? Probably not...

It went as expected, really. Roy had allowed for everything shy of catnip, from drape-climbing to pant-shredding to being ignored entirely. He had even made plans for the eventual attempts at petting. This was not in his plans.

“Aren’t you allergic to cats?” Breda was asking.

“He has funny feet,” Havoc was muttering.

“It’s going to kill Havoc,” Farman was observing.

“Hawkeye’s not gonna like it,” Fury was whimpering.

“Be quiet,” said Hawkeye (who had been there unobserved for five minutes), and they were.

“I am only slightly allergic, he does have funny feet, he will kill Havoc if Havoc keeps attempting to poke him, and Hawkeye does not like it.” Roy glared at them all and rubbed his temple. “I am going to go sign things without reading them. I am not responsible for any damage he causes.”

The creature in question regarded them all with contempt and went to curl up on Hawkeye’s desk, turning around five times before settling in the sunbeam that landed exactly on the “incoming” stack of paper.

“…Or I’ll move the cat,” Roy sighed, and went to get the thick elbow-length gloves he had brought for exactly this purpose. Said cat eyed him and the gloves and leapt off the desk with the most possible scattering of paperwork.

“This is why I didn’t want to bring you,” Roy declared, planting his hands on his hips with the full knowledge that he looked like an idiot. “Now behave.”

An hour later he greatly regretted those words, as having someone staring at him while he attempted to actually fill out paperwork was more than a little distracting. He finally gave up and stared back until slit eyes blinked with lazy deliberateness, as if to say their owner was above such games.

“Why are you in my office?” Roy sighed, dropping his head onto the papers carpeting his desk. “I thought I left you with them.”

“They wen’ out to lunch,” Ed grumbled, tailtip flicking slowly. Roy knew enough know to recognize it as a sign of annoyance, and he carefully fingered the elbow-length gloves under his desk.

“And this is an answer to my question how?” Roy politely ignored the dramatic eye-roll and disinterested paw-lick. It didn’t do to inform one’s companion that they were being a teenager.

“Y’said to stay wi’ you or Hawkeye,” he finally muttered sullenly, letting it slur together into near incomprehensibility. Roy made a curious noise that could best be described as a disbelieving choke.

“You actually listened when I said that?” Roy was probably more surprised than he should be, and the tightly controlled spams of Ed’s tailtip confirmed that.

“…’S easier this way,” he mumbled, ducking his head and examining his claws. “Just a cat. Heard people talkin’ ‘bout stuff.”

Roy was serious immediately, leaning forward to catch his attention. “What were they talking about?” he demanded, and Ed growled at him.

“Nuthin’. …’Bout me.” It was said reluctantly, and Roy sat back and rubbed his temples. Just what he needed; people wondering where the Fullmetal Alchemist had gotten to. He was startled out of his reverie when Ed jumped onto his desk and prodded him with unsheathed claws.

“Ow,” Roy said eloquently, and Ed grabbed his hand before he could push the chimera off his desk.

“Lissen,” Ed hissed, and Roy arched an eyebrow.

“You have just clawed me for no apparent reason,” Roy informed him. “There will be a punishment. Therefore, I am going to get the water bottle and- What on earth are you doing with my pen?”

Ed ignored him and carefully wrote all over the very important papers Roy had to sign in triplicate. He hit himself in the face with the pen five times before he finished, and then he finally gave in to his impulses and disemboweled the pen with great vigor. Roy ignored him in favor of deciphering the scrawling text.

“Secret reconnaissance of Risembool,” it read. “Review Colonel and subordinates private behavior. New anti-tap system on phones - not safe. Private codes studied.”

Roy shoved the papers into the waste bin and set them on fire. He grabbed Ed by the scruff of his neck and held him at eye level.

“Bad kitty,” he said very clearly, and opened his door and kicked Ed out. There was enraged scratching for several minutes, and he was sure the refinishing costs of the door would be extensive, but it was worth it.

Now if only he could teach Ed not to write it down. Cats made lovely spies, and he wondered why he ever hated them.


1. Catnip
2. Feline
3. Coin's Mettle

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-05 05:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Chimera!Ed still makes me sad but I like the interaction here. Ed would make an excellent spy.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-05 05:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
BTW: Forgottenlover recomended your work to me. ^_^

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-05 05:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*cracks up* Yes, we are part of the unit to take over the world! ^_^ glad to hear you have joined!

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-05 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*GLARE* I will hound you! I am known for such. You WILL write. Or I'll write a cliffy and tell them I won't update till you write something. *evil smirk*

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-05 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I would suggest asking Forgottenlover as she is the ultimate authority on Doubles since its her baby. I'll tell you what I believe: Doubles has the five some plus Aru: Ed, Roy, Masuta, Riza, Al and Aru. Izumi knows about the fivesome (its in the notes for HoS). Her feelings on it is not expressed. But as cannon for HoS is VERY loose, you could run with it however you want. Ponytail would be a FL question I think.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-05 06:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Like I'd let you, you don't get the shiny until you post

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-06 02:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
How about this, you finish it, and if you give it to me to look over, I'll attach the shiny *to* it when I send it back, how's that sound?

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-05 08:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I think I'm in love with the pen. Very nice.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-07 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
-watches Havok have a brain hernia-

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-05 10:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, the PEN! Roy's little explosion about everyone's reaction was wonderful, and of course as if Ed would be useless in a cat's body. Nothing can stop FullMetal... Just delay him <_<


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